mia loves henry miller – Letter 3 – Bondage A-Go-Go & Mindcaviar.com

mia loves henry miller – Letter 3 – Bondage A-Go-Go & Mindcaviar.com.

mia loves henry miller – Letter 35 – Mr. Camera Man, Art, Music and Erotica

mia loves henry miller

Letter 35 – Mr. Camera Man, Art, Music, and Erotica

2/1/12 – 10:31 p.m.

Dear Henry Miller,

It’s been a long day.  I’m one day away from showtime.  I’m still dealing with show drama stuff. Someday I will laugh at these obnoxious moments.  Today, they don’t seem as funny.  I wanted to write you a letter earlier today, but, I haven’t had the chance until now.  I’m surprised that I even have the energy to open up a new word document and begin typing.  I’m yawning in between words.

I remember one evening in early summer – the year I met Mr. C.  He had me in a tightly precarious position, bound, naked and submissive. We were playing; spankings, toys, hot, sensual, dripping, candle wax and the sensation of fear instilled by verbal communication.  It made my blood chill me right to the bone.  My eyes got HUGE when I heard Mr. C whisper hotly near my ear, “I’m going to get a camera and take photos of you like this.  And there is nothing you can do.”

Part of me knew he wouldn’t really do it, yet, I didn’t really know.  Our relationship was so new.  He could have gotten his vintage Nikon camera and clicked away and I could not have done anything about it. It was frightening.  But, I thought that it made our hours of play time more thrilling.  It added depth to our scene like tiny details in a painting.

I actually really don’t like having my photo taken. I apologize for taking  away from the fantasy that I like to fuck the camera lens.  But, it takes an army to motivate me to do a photo shoot.  Mr. C and one of my dearest friends who is not a lover, Mr. D, are pretty much the only people I feel most comfortable with in front of the camera, and it took me a long time. I get so nervous to work with other photographers. I can’t help it. Mr. C and I would get into fights whenever it came time to do a new photo shoot for MindCaviar.com or my erotic web site. I’m pretty pathetic. Continue reading

mia loves henry miller – Letter 23 – Lady M Erotica, The Downfall, Liberated by Death

mia loves henry miller

Letter 23 – Lady M Erotica, The Downfall, Liberated by Death

“Always we are led back to the heart. It is there that everything is determined. A community must be organized around the heart, otherwise, no matter how rational the theory, how stout the principle, it will fall apart. This is the true theater of operation: the heart. What happens outside in the world, as they say, is only the echo of the passion play which goes on in the soul of every individual.” —Henry Miller, Remember to Remember

1/4/12 1:34 p.m.

Dear Henry Miller,

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been writing to you consistently for one month.   I’m at the beginning of letter 23.  I never thought that I would get this far.  Somehow I am fueled to write to you, instead of resting and watching television, recuperating from our big New Year’s Eve Burlesque Show.  I will most likely work on the mural project on Friday.   I need to start working consistently on this project, now that the holidays are over.

Once upon a time, many years ago, I used to have an erotic web site, called LadyMerotica.com inspired by Jamie Joy Gatto and MindCaviar.com.   Mr. C and I were newlyweds, living at our five bedroom farm house.  Mr. C was newly unemployed.  I had a family of five to think about.   I didn’t receive financial help from my ex-husband, nor did we get any financial help for Mr. C’s son from his ex-wife.  I felt that I could make a substantial income to provide for my family, with this classy, adult web site. Continue reading

mia loves henry miller – Letter 19 – The Nightclub, The Gothic, The Kinky, and the Land of the Misfit Toys

mia loves henry miller

Letter 19 – The Nightclub, The Gothic, The Kinky, and the Land of the Misfits Toys

“I masturbate often, luxuriously, without remorse or after distaste.  For the first time I know what it is to eat.  I have gained four pounds.  I get frantically hungry, and the food I eat gives me lingering pleasure.  I never ate before in this deep carnal way.  I have only three desires now, to eat, to sleep, and to fuck.  The cabarets excite me. I want to hear raucous music, to see faces, to brush against bodies, to drink fiery Benedictine.  Beautiful women and handsome men arouse fierce desires in me.   I want to dance. I want drugs.  I want to know perverse people, to be intimate with them.  I never look at naïve faces.  I want to bite into life, and to be torn by it.  Henry does not give me all this.  I have aroused his love.  Curse his love.  He can fuck me as no one else can, but I want more than that.  I’m going to hell, to hell, to hell.  Wild, wild, wild. ” –Anais Nin, Henry and June Diaries, page 179

Continue reading

mia loves henry miller – Letter 18 – Caged Infatuation, Goodbye My Mistress, Anais Nin, Henry and June

mia loves henry miller

Letter 18  Caged Infatuation, Goodbye My Mistress, Anais Nin, Henry and June

“The last afternoon in Henry’s hotel room was for me like a white-hot furnace. Before, I had only white heat of the mind and of the imagination; now it is of the blood. Sacred completeness. I come out dazed in the mellow spring evening and I think, now I would not mind dying. Henry has aroused all my real instincts, so that I am no longer ill at ease, famished, incongruous in my world. I have found where I fit. I love him, and yet I am not blind to the elements in us which clash and out of which, later will spring our divorce. I can only feel the now. The now is so rich and so tremendous. As Henry says, ‘Everything is good, good.’” –Anais Nin, The Diaries of Henry and June, page 77

12/20/2011 8:45 p.m.

Dear Henry Miller,

I’ve accomplished much today, cleaning the house, hanging pictures, re-arranging the furniture. It’s been almost a year since Mr. C’s mother died. We had been taking care of her for the past few years, living downstairs, in my mother in – law’s small suburban home, in a small, basement apartment. I have not done anything to the upstairs of her house, to make it my own, until now. It’s looking really good. I like taking a zero budget, using whatever is already in my house, to transcend the plain and ordinary into the decorative and sublime. It’s like transcending tin to gold. It’s kind of a creative rush.

Last night I was going through some of my files, diary entries or letters to you, which I have written over the past ten years, to find material for the letters I’m presently writing to you. I found a diary entry which I published with Mindcaviar.com almost a decade ago. I really enjoyed writing this one. It’s a memory worth re-living. It will give you a deeper understanding of my relationship with MJ. Continue reading

mia loves henry miller – Letter 3 – Bondage A-Go-Go & Mindcaviar.com

mia loves henry miller

Letter 3 – Bondage A-Go-Go & Mindcaviar.com

(A majority of my blog is based on true events – however, there is much fiction intertwined in these stories)

My writing in blog form is raw…please forgive me, my readers. I’ve been up day and night editing the first fifty letters, which will be published in my first book. I wanted to re-post my letters one last time prior to removing them offline. These letters will be passed onto another editor and then will be uploaded as books on Amazon. My goal is to complete this task by my b-day, January 27. I hope that you will enjoy these letters, despite their imperfections. Sincerely, Mia Malone-Jennings

12/6/11 1:17 p.m.

(I’m taking a short break from painting)

Excerpt from Henry Miller’s Good friend and another writer, poet, Lawrence Durell.  I found this on the inside cover of Henry Miller’s book, Sexus.

“Miller has elected to shame the devil and tell the truth, and his work is one of the bravest, richest, and most consistent ventures in this domain since Jean-Jacques Rousseau.  By its very nature such a task must transgress the narrow limits of what ordinary people regard as permissible; canons of taste, conventional ideas of beauty and propriety, they must be renovated in the light of his central objective-the search for truth. Often the result is shocking, terrifying; but then truth has always been a fierce oracle rather than a bleat or a whimper.  But, no one, I think, could read (as I have done) through this whole length and breadth of his work without wonder and amazement- and finally without gratitude for what he has undertaken on behalf of all of us all.  It isn’t pretty, a lot of it, but then neither is real life. It goes right to the bone.” —Lawrence Durrell

I’m working on my third public letter to you via my wordpress.com blog.  It’s frightening enough to just write from the heart.  It’s even more so when you have a possible audience who can read things which you’ve never told anyone.  Only, but a few good, close friends.  I’m convincing myself to move forward without fear. Continue reading